


The Voice Stitched Under Your Skin

by your_local_friendly_ghost



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Blood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Experimental Style, Hallucinations, M/M, Omniscient Narrator, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Some pining, Suicidal Ideation, Switching Recipient, Two Guys Trying Their Best, i literally typed this after a 17-hours sleep it's not beta'ed it's Pure Raw Experimental Shit, lily's stil dead goddess have her soul, second-person narration, tew2 sweetie i love you but i can't let you bind my creativity, that's about it for the grammar side, they're both out of this mess, this reads like weird poetry, this thing doesn't take in count everything tew2 trailers have given us, whom would have thought
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 21:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11953008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_local_friendly_ghost/pseuds/your_local_friendly_ghost
Summary: I am the VoiceAnd I see youChildren of mineTrying to hide.I see your soulsThe wounds on your mind,I see you pulledInexorablyInto the darkAnd toward each otherAnd into the nightOver and over.





	The Voice Stitched Under Your Skin

**Author's Note:**

> this thing has been itching me for three days it was time i typed it out.  
> also, bold writing means a mix-match between the recipients. it's them, it's us, it's god who's watching me type. ha, we'll see.

Hey, hey, now, now,

Where will you go ?

It is over,

You still hear things

_This high-pitched noise_

Like the bells of hell.

Where will you go ?

They drove you home

In a taxi,

You couldn’t even tell him goodbye.

Your hands shake

And your index finger keeps curling,

The automatic pull

On the trigger.

Your legs tremble, still so ready

To jump

And run

For your life.

 

_“Are you going to be okay ?”_

He tried to smile

And almost choked,

They pulled you in, told the driver to get you away.

 

 

_Hey, hey, now, now,_

_Where will you go ?_

_It is over,_

_You still taste blood_

_Inside your mouth,_

_And his carnal urge_

_That used to rip you in two_

_Still makes your side ache_ –

_Or is it the bullet ?_

_You couldn’t answer_

_When he asked you if you were going to be fine,_

“Fine” _feels like a distant memory_

_Or maybe a dream._

 

_You saw how white his knuckles were_

_As he tried to contain the urge to shoot_

_In his closed fists._

 

 

Your house is so quiet

But your mind _screams_ ;

Your mouth begs for whiskey

And your soul for sweet dreams.

They will have _nothing_

But ice-cold water

As you stand all clothed

Under the shower.

You hope the blood that sticks to your skin

And that your eyes can’t see

Will run from your shins

And into the sewer.

_Sewers._

_Sewers._

Full of blood and guts

They stand in front of your eyes,

You jump out of the water

To throw

Up.

 

 

_Your apartment is so dark_

_And your mind’s not that light too,_

_Your coats hanging in the hallway_

_Look like shadows._

_You are shaking like the branches of a small tree_

_In which the wind blows_

_And you feel the cold of the breeze_

_Pierce through your windows._

 

_You go fetch some water,_

_See your reflection in the sink_

_With that distorted smile, those black rashes, blood on your flesh,_

_And the glass breaks_

_Under your iced and gloved fingers._

 

 

The street is quiet

But your house isn’t,

It’s now haunted by more monsters

Who dance along the ghost of your daughter.

Your gun is in your hand,

What are you going to do with it ?

You can’t shoot them away

And can’t bring it to your brain.

 

 

_You try to focus on the flowers_

_Blossoming at your window,_

_But always you see yourself staring at the ground_

_Almost one hundred feet below._

_When did these thoughts come_

_And when will they go ?_

_You try to tell yourself to reach out, be safe,_

_And something in your brain chuckles_

_Low and raw, something that_ waits.

 

 

_How do the days pass, when do the days pass, why do the days pass ?_

You ask yourself,

You are never asleep

And never awake.

Your apartment smells of unfinished take-out

And cigarette,

You stink of whiskey

And half-digested nightmares.

 

 

_When did you stop_

_Hiding under the blankets_

_When the monsters come ?_

_They are all around you_

_And wait._

 

 

You are numb,

Living in clouds,

Suffocating

Away from the crowd.

You tell yourself you should call someone

Or go to therapy

But there is always something

That shuts you up with the smile.

_They will never, ever believe,_

_Silly._

 

 

_Tighten your tie around your neck,_

_Red noose that you won't let kill,_

_With your naked hands ;_

_And red stains your shirt,_

_Oh, what is this ?_

_Crimson blood kissing your fingertips._

_You pull the fabric from around your throat,_

_Hemoglobin drips between your knuckles,_

_You drop on your knees,_

_Beast wounded by the pigment piercing your retina through your glasses,_

_You howler,_

_Howler,_

_Mute holler_

_Locked in your chest._

Where did the blood come from ?

Where did the blood come from ?

_Silly boy, it came from your brain._

_The lashes vomiting crimson, the raw scars under your skull, oh, how they hurt._

_They hurt._

_They hurt._

_They hurt._

 

 

Your teeth taste like rust,

Your tongue is heavy with muffled screams –

They’re poisoning you

Slowly,

Like arsenic

In your bloodstream.

Your teeth taste like rust

And when you cut open the piece of meat in your plate

You saw yourself

Under _their_ monster teeth.

You had to run

To throw up

To hide,

Locked yourself in your bathroom

When you started hearing their footsteps.

 

 

_You want to call him_

_You want to call him_

_You want to call him_

_Memories threaten to spill_

_And something else, too,_

“What else is there ?” _he once said,_

_You remember,_

_It rings in your ears_

_Like a whisper._

 

 

Wash the nightmares sticking like sweat to your skin

With ice cold water,

Above the sink watch your dreams disappear

Down the drain.

Lift your head now, lift your head now,

And watch the stranger in the mirror who is still bent on the basin.

Still.

Your breath can't leave your mouth, and the strangers slowly straightens his spine ;

Your eyes meet, and he's wearing your face.

He parts his lips to speak

And blood pours,

Blood pours.

Your fingers curl in a fist

And you break his face in

Tiny Glass Shards

That slice your flesh and hide under your skin.

_Where did this rage come from ?_

_Where did this rage come from ?_

Silly boy, it came from your heart.

The roaring storm between your ribs, sheltered under your skin, locked in the cage and that you never let out, it never sleeps.

It never sleeps.

It never sleeps.

It never sleeps.

 

 

_How long has it been since you last saw him ?_

_You barely remember_

_The color of his eyes._

Hazel. Hazel. A soft honey light.

_It came back_

_And you feel safer ;_

_What are you waiting for ?_

 

 

Wait in the room

With the silver light

Burning your eyes

Like a cold sun.

The nurses walk

And you can’t breathe,

The atmosphere

Stings of disinfectant.

Hold your wounded hand

Like a dead bird

See your nails

Bitten to the blood.

Turn your head to a movement,

And see,

On the white chair next to you,

The kid you tried to save stare at you

With those big eyes

Like blue marbles.

His nails drip red,

He is crying,

You betrayed him

And now he hurts

Hurts

And will hurt

Forever.

 

 

_You are not calling him,_

_He can’t see you,_

_When you cough, you hide your mouth,_

_Part your lips_

_And blood oozes._

 

 

The tea you take

Has the color of whiskey,

And your body craves alcohol,

The sweet high of the ethanol,

You long for the wine-induced sleeps

You once had.

But can you still sleep ?

Can you still sleep ?

You feel watched

As you drift away

And always

Always

You expect someone

At the corner of your eye.

 

 

_You think you are better in your dreams_

_Because you don't feel_

_\- But they are still after you_

_And I am still here,_

_And_ it _is still here,_

_A storm,_

_An urge,_

_We are not letting you go._

 

 

In your egoistic suffering,

You forgot about him.

Now that you are alone again,

In a room too dark for your sick brain,

You keep seeing him under your eyelids,

His sorry smile

And gentle hands.

He had been your angel once, and you rejected him,

You bared your teeth **(Are You Afraid Of God ?)** and ran.

 

_The plants at your window died_

_A while ago_

_And you feel like you did too,_

_You are the empty stem_ (STEM STEM STEM STEM)

_Of a sunflower_

_Whose head was cut off,_

_Petals rotting on the ground._

 

His number sticks to your skin

And your fingers itch –

You dial it.

You dial it.

 

_If the voice of reason left you_

_Years ago,_

_Sebastian’s still brings a smile_

_On your chapped lips._

 

 

You recognize the man

Under the grey skin,

The dark circles,

The wrinkled clothes ;

It’s your partner

With his eyes that shine

When he spots you in the diner.

**(Did You Ever Notice This Before ?)**

 

_You recognize the man_

_Under the alcohol-stained shirt,_

_The exhausted grey eyes,_

_The heavy shoulders ;_

_It’s your partner._

_He looks miserable_

_He looks terrible_

_He looks pathetic,_

_It is him,_

_It is him._

 

You call him again

On the next day,

Agree to meet again.

He shows up with stubble

And a smile ;

You think you look terrible

But he compliments you on the clean shirt

You struggled to put on

And it’s a step

A step towards

[You can’t think the word yet].

 

 

_The night is harsh_

_On your scarred brain_

_And claws lash_

_At your sanity_ –

_You want to call_

_You want to call_

_You call_

_And he answers._

 

Picking the pieces he looses

As he breaks down crying

Became tonight’s hobby

And you think,

You think it’s only fair.

 

_You thank him when you meet_

_And he smiles generously ;_

_Your heart jumps in your throat_

_And you realize it is still here_

_And_ it _is still here._

“What else is there ?” _he once said._

_Oh, what else ? What else ?_

 

The night is harsh,

Suffocating,

Monsters are out

And they’re _starving_ –

They’re out for you !

Hear them holler !

They’re at your door

And you crawl

In your squalor.

 

You need to run, silly boy,

You need to run !

In the midst of tears

Leave that haunted home of yours,

Call a taxi **(Ignore The Rotting Skin Of The Driver)**

And find a shelter.

 

 

_When he reaches you, he says_

_He is hiding in a motel,_

_The cockroaches on the wall_

_Seem a little too real_

_And he’s crying as he’s calling._

_Let yourself talk him through the night, boy,_

_Console this man in his misery_ –

_There are things you wish you could say_

_But you keep them locked inside._

_You hear his smile as he dozes off._

 

You spent the night

Cradled by his voice

And you dreamed

Of his dark eyes.

You two shared your soundless trance,

And you could not stop staring at him –

When you woke up you knew

Something had changed,

But when ?

Your dream kept on living in your bloodstream

 

_You two didn’t speak_

_For a few days_

_And when he called,_

_You were okay._

_You had stared at your own reflection_

_And nothing had changed_ –

_A muted peace had taken place._

 

Not one of you is okay

When you meet again,

Something ever so small

Is like a spark

And burns you out,

Keep you tense

Like the string

Of a bow.

What had happened ?

You can’t remember,

Your brain regurgitates

Guts and thunder.  


 

_In your touch you realize_

_Something had changed_

_Even in his tear-clogged_

_Exhausted eyes._

_You two still hurt,_

_A muted pain,_

_Something dull,_

_A sting in your brain._

You will never be okay again.

You will never be okay again.

_Or will you ?_

_His trembling hand searches for yours._

 

 

 

 

**And you hold, hold, hold him,**

**Your arms maybe too tight around his shoulders,**

**But he doesn't care,**

**He hides in face in the crook of your neck.**

**You find the corner of his mouth to kiss and your lips smash on his skin.**

**His eyes snap open**

**And they're almost fearful,**

**Shocked ?**

**They sweetened, honeyed look, and he kisses you back, tentatively, almost shy,**

**As if you were delicate.**

**_And maybe you are._ **

**_And maybe you are._ **

**But it doesn't matter.**

**His touch is tender.**

**He is not afraid of the monsters haunting your soul**

**And he will take you,**

**All of you,**

**In his arms**

**And he will kiss you**

**Over and over again.**

  


_This is_

What has

_Changed._

 

_The kisses you share_

_Are a little wet_

_And sticky with tears,_

_The scar on his lip_

_And the darker spots on his skin_

**(Alcohol-Induced Skin Discoloration)**

_Calls for tenderness_

_And you give it to them._

 

_What has changed ?_

This is what.

You two share a bed

Every night.

Watching him sleep

Under the shelter of the blanket

Lulls you gently,

And you are not afraid of the dark

Anymore.

 

What has changed ?

_So many days,_

_You two still cry,_

_You two still run_

_To hide._

_You two still jump_

_At every noise_

_You two still taste_

_Blood dripping down your nose._

_But you two hold,_

_Hold,_

_Onto each other,_

_And these bad times will pass_

_Like the bad weather._

 

_What has changed ?_

Months and months defiled before your eyes,

Always asleep,

Always awake,

Stuck between here

And _there_.

The voices stop,

Come back again,

_Will it ever be okay ?_

No one can tell –

You have each other,

Should you go back

Or run forever ?

They’ll welcome you

Back in your office

But do you want to face those memories

Again ?

 

 

 

 

**You feel**

**You feel**

**You feel again**

**You feel** **_finally_ **

**In his arms, your bodies entwined.**

**And you feel**

**His lips on your mouth**

**His hands on your skin**

**His legs around your waist**

**You feel Him**

**Everywhere.**

**And when he parts his lips, his tongue calling for yours,**

**Something seems to sing**

**Somewhere in your chest.**

**One day you broke down crying**

**When his hands were reaching for your naked thighs.**

**He kisses you once, gently pushes you onto your pillow, and, looping his arms around you, in the sweetest of voices, asks you.**

**You wails against his shoulder**

**Hiccups in pain,**

**He asks you if it is something he did,**

**And you try, choking on your own thoughts, to tell that it was not him, it was never him, it would never be him.**

 

**He lets you cry,**

**And cry,**

**And cry,**

**Kisses your wet cheeks, the corners of your scared eyes, your temples under which burned you scarred brain, holds you, gentle, gentle,**

**Always so tender.**

 

**He hides you both under the thick blanket,**

**Picks up his phone and calls**

**The Chinese restaurant,**

**Orders a take-out.**

 

 

 

 

Hey, hey, now, now,

Where will you go ?

 _With him_ , you say, and you will.

It still hurts, your ribs, your mind,

But he is here,

And in his arms you found something,

And in his hands you found something,

And on his lips you found something

Tender

And Sweet

And Soft

And almost

Holy.

_Hey, hey, now, now,_

_Where will you go ?_

With him, _you say, and you will._

_Something still chuckles every time darkness pumps in your veins,_

_Something that_ waits _,_

 _And you think,_ this asshole can keep waiting,

_Because Sebastian, patting the pillow next to his,_

_Cannot._

_And the thing that_ waits

_Shuts up for good_

_When you crawl under the blanket_

_And find the nest of Sebastian’s arms._

_And the thing that_ waits

_Will have to wait a while_

_Until you two are done kissing_

_And kissing_

_And kissing_

_And kissing..._

 

 

 

The End...?

**Author's Note:**

> this is not the first thing i write, but it sure is the first thing i post. it was a lot of fun to write, i hope you enjoyed my weird experimental writing that reads like emo tumblr poetry.


End file.
